 The Waco, TX, VA hospital is slated for closure. Iraq vet Jesus Bocanegra is receiving treatment for PTSD there. He reports daily from the hospital.
The Waco, TX, VA hospital is slated for closure. Iraq vet Jesus Bocanegra is receiving treatment for PTSD there. He reports daily from the hospital:
Day One:
This is my first day -- orientation. It's not what I thought it would be. I was looking forward to meeting other veterans of my age-group – but the atmosphere, the whole program is geared towards Vietnam veterans, senior citizens. Most of the veterans are sixty or seventy years old. I'm the only 20-something year old here. Even the staff are all 30-something. My roommate is a Vietnam Veteran. Everybody's really friendly and stuff, but I can't tell them, "Hey, you like that song...?" It's just awkward. You're just not comfortable at all.
I feel like they haven't changed the program in twenty years – or fifteen years at least. It's all very isolated from the outside world. I have a lot of time on my hands here. I was already going through that, nothing's changed. With PTSD, you're isolated... I've come to realize that it's not going away. I came here to cope with it.
The good thing, I guess, is group therapy on a daily basis, instead of waiting three months. One thing I'd recommend here, and at Vet Centers, is to separate out the Vietnam vets and the Gulf War vets from the Iraq vets. Not that we're better than them or anything, I'd just be more comfortable with my peers.
I'm kind of disappointed, but I'm still hopeful.
Day Two:
Well, my day started out bad. At six in the morning, there was all this banging in the halls. It was like being back in basic training! <laughs> They came by to draw blood -- I think it was for a drug test. I didn't sleep at all, with people walking around and slamming doors. It was a rude awakening, anyway. <laughs>
I've been talking to my roommate, who's going to be my "Big Brother" -- who pretty much just talks to you, shows you around. They're all Vietnam vets, though. It's just like a VA hospital. Like I was in the pharmacy today, and they see this young guy, and they start asking a lot of questions, like: "Shouldn't you be in high school?" ...I'm 23.
I was talking to one vet today, a Gulf War Veteran, explaining that I don't feel at home. He's the closest -- maybe thirty-something, and he's from Brownsville, so we connect, talk about back home. When I was at the Vet Center, the guy told me they were going to try and do this so there would be other Iraq veterans... I guess they didn't make it. Of course, the experience of war is the same. But the jungle isn't the desert, you know?
One thing: the food is gross. Hospital food. I'm thinking about having my buddy from home bring me MREs! <laughs> They'd be better.
I haven't been to my first group session yet. You're supposed to write a letter to one of your friends who got killed over there. There's one that starts at five o'clock today, and another one tomorrow morning. I'll tell you about them tomorrow.
Day Three:
The counseling – I was pretty surprised at how good this program helps out vets. The staff are so dedicated. They've been here from the beginning. I've heard stories – this program really changed people. It's given them hope.
I haven't really talked about my experience. It's more about what's been bothering me, what problems I've had since I've been back. I haven't really opened up, but I've been hearing these other people's stories first-hand. It's pretty emotional. The guys had to wait twenty or thirty years for a program like this.
The head of the VA [VA Sec. Jim Nicholson] visited last week... he didn't visit the PTSD program, though. Maybe because they're planning to shut down this program. Maybe he was ashamed.
I suggested keeping this program and setting up another one for Iraq veterans. That's when they told me that they were planning to close this place down. I was so surprised, since the program has worked so well. It's pretty sad... every morning, at Patient Government, they pass around a hat to buy snacks and stuff.
Still I don't know if I'll last eleven weeks with this food – it's all for people with diabetes, or no teeth, you know? But it's the treatment that counts, and the treatment is A+.
From Jesus one year later: Marching On
It's been about a year from now since I first posted my blog on here. Well my fight with PTSD is still a daily matter. About two months ago I made up my mind that I was going to take my fight to the VA. I was fed up with the way my local V.A. clinic was treating me or the lack of treatment I was getting, like trying to send me 265 miles to a dental appointment or to get an eye exam. I had the privilege of walking along side some older veterans and hearing their war stories and struggles with the VA. We marched to San Antonio, Texas from Edinburg, Texas which is about 265 miles, to bring to attention the lack of medical facilities in my area. It took us about a week to get there. Now two months later I think the VA got the message because we are starting to see the results we still have not gotten word about when they are going to open the hospital we need down here. But they are taking some steps in the right direction. Two weeks ago they announced that they are going to expand the local VA clinic to have dental an optometry services and just yesterday the VA announced that they going to start a survey into the veterans needs here "The bottom line is to make sure Rio Grande Valley Texans have access to the best health care," said VA spokesman Scott Hogenson. Do not know if it was the march that got them the wake up call that us veterans are not going to take it any more and stand an watch as we get treated as second class citizens.
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To arrange an interview with this veteran, contact press[at]iava.org.
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